well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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