respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
