after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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