So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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