ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
