Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
that is very illegal...i love you.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
