i love accidental penises.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
No subtext here. People are naked.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
