Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
