my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
