I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
