youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he was CRYING into my vagina
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
