You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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