Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
