i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
