You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
