Your dad touched me again.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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