Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
