so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
