We're facebook friends in real life
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
