i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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