She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
