She is in my trunk
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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