btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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