So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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