Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude i'm inner monologue high
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
