Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
