she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
