My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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