dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
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