how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
