Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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