moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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