For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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