I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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