You're so nebulous sometimes
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
