I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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