OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
