You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
