Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
