He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
