does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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