My hair reeks of homosexuality.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
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