Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
