you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
