Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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