Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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