it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
