I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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