areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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