"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
