The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
